Sunday, July 16, 2017

Question: Sunday Freeday?

Someone should 'ask' me this question once a week.

Here's some insight into my little world. I'd say at least 3 days a week, I sit here trying to remember a thing I thought of earlier. And by earlier I mean that half-awake, mid-morning dream state that allows your brain to make magical flips of reasoning and bold strides of creativity, unencumbered by complete awakeyness.

Most days I can't remember. Some days I remember and the line or joke I thought was gonna be great is total shit, and has no real meaning. Like, "Grover Socks is a sick name for a band."

This morning, I was being wise in my subconscious, and I came up with this tidbit: Jobs and work are different. A job is what you do to make money. Work is having to get out of bed to go to your stupid shitty job.

That's not bad for not a single thread of conscious, intelligent thought.

I think I agree with Dream Keith. The hardest thing many people do on any given day is overcoming the desire to stay in bed. I thank my busty stars everyday that I'm not faced with that decision. The ability to lounge around, letting my creativity snuggle, is a true blessing. I've come up with some of my best ideas in that warm, calm, morning haven. Such as:

The Baloney Toad
Two-ended matches
The tall thin gate
Soup technique
Gary the Effortless Asiatic Menace
Slumpdumping
The bindle revival
Eggs Benefactor
Homeless nudists
The Purple Penis Eater
Shartnado
Calvin going to therapy to rid himself of Hobbes, then discovering the wisdom of Leviathan
Stump sucking
Doing cocaine from the cap of a pen
The porn name Tunt Billington Comely Esquire

Short Answer: Funny to claim these were subconscious jokes, because they're actually a child of the other well I draw upon: saying crazy shit with absolutely no forethought whatsoever. Yes, my brain makes up this stuff on a loop, even when I'm trying to be a real boy. Sometimes, it's great. Other times, when Shartnado pops into your head while making love to your wife, things can get a bit hairy.

Note: It's no joke. Tunt Billington Comely Esquire was a moment of pure creation. Snack on that, all you other motherfuckers.

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