Monday, May 1, 2017

Question: Where you at?

I've got a friend in town for the week, so I'm on pseudo-vacation. He's asleep right now, so I figured I'd try to squeeze this in, before I try to squeeze my penis into his bum.

Last few days have been filled with immense sleepiness and my annual Sci-Fi Movie Festival. We drank many drinks, candied many candies and jumped many jumps.

This morning I woke up with this.

"It's not like today's the day they un-invented penicillin!"

Solid work, subconscious.

Also, we've decided in only two days that my wife's resting facial expression is 'done eating'.

We've coined the term 'dumpstitution' and learned to describe the moment where you're rushing to the toilet, and you undo your pants - therefore speeding up the exit of fleeing turds - as 'strafing'. (Because you half sit and scooch across the bowl.)

More discoveries to come, but I may be a little inconsistent with my presence until the beginning of next week. There's important work to be done, and we're uncovering new truths about the universe every day. We're willing to put the work in. We've already had long conversations about the shape and behaviour of my penis, as well as how certain birth control can poke you, creating a fear of having a piece of copper threaded nicely into your peehole during coitus.

We've only just begun.

Short Answer: Unsnake - The Straightest Animal. I just thought of this awesome movie title. Just now. My brain is on fire with possibilities!

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