Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Question: If you had an imaginary cellmate, what would they be like?

I think it's possible that whoever wrote this question thinks I'm in prison.

I guess the hypothetical here is that I'm in a cell, but I'm alone. And I guess a little crazy, because I'm about to come up with, not a real cellmate, an imaginary cellmate.

The word cellmate has already lost all meaning. Cellmate, cellmate, cellmate.

Salma Hayek is my go to answer for being in a room with someone and there's a bed nearby. I don't know if she works in this scenario, though, because there probably aren't any girls allowed. Even in my imagination, I'd probably choose a man. Maybe someone big and strong to protect me? No, no, that could go the other way pretty quickly.

I've always thought Adam Sandler would be a fun guy to hand out with. And I don't think he'd rape me. He might laugh and point while I was getting raped, but that's pretty understandable. I'd look like a chicken having a stroke.

Short Answer: Or a person doing the 'lick your own elbows' dance.

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