1) Steven Seagal took my dog. Now what the fuck do I do?
2) A band called Jumpsuit Summercamp.
3) The bidet ad-campaign tagline, 'Keep your seafood fresh'.
4) A doctor that has to touch pastry to help with his diagnoses.
7) Regular maids.
8) Megular raids.
9) Loss of interest, mid-blog post.
Short Answer: Butts.