Thursday, April 13, 2017

Question: Daddy took my t-bird away. How will I have fun, fun, fun?

Go to Kokomo?

Beach Boys.

As song lyrics go, this isn't all that inspiring. I got a young girl pregnant and now I'm not allowed to drive for a bit? That's right. Getting grounded isn't all that interesting. And I added the interesting bit about knocking up some teenager.

Go surfin'?

I just realized that a lot of Beach Boys songs are pretty much white privilege anthems. If you tried to describe the problems of the fictional characters in their songs to, say, someone who has to walk all day to get water, they'd be like, "What the fuck are you talking about? Water is far too rare to surf upon."

That's what they'd be like.

Make it big?

(Nobody remembers that Beach Boys song. Nobody. That's just the sort of niche joke I'm looking for at all times. No wonder you're here, reading my blog.)

I'm thinking you can masturbate, masturbate, masturbate until Daddy unplugs the wifi.

Short Answer: Or you can do that thing that's always an option in Beach Boys' era films: watch, watch, watch the super hot girl who lives in the house next to you - who is of a comparable age - through her window, ya fuckin' creep.

Note: Another option is drugs, drugs, drugs.

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