Monday, March 27, 2017

Question: You have to post this on March 27, otherwise, I'm done with reading your blog.

I'm looking everywhere, and I don't see the most important thing, the thing that I need the most. I don't see...a question!

I came very close to posting this tomorrow, to make it clear just how I feel about your non-question ultimatum. But here we are, in the shit, because you forgot the only rule.

That's like going to the bathroom and peeing around the toilet. It's like assuming a clown is benign. It's like brushing your lips.

So, March 27th. Guess that's all I've got to go on. Better be your bloody birthday or some shit.

March 27th, 1350: Alfonso the 11th of Castille dies of the Black Death while sieging Gibraltar. Good sentence, that. Also, too many Alfonsos.

March 27th, 1884: First long distance phone call, from Boston to New York. "This is wicked awesome."

March 27th, 1912: Cherry blossom trees, gifted from Japan, are planted for the first time in America. Washington, DC, specifically. I wonder what America gave them in return?

March 27th, 1958: America declares their intention to explore space. Nerds rejoice. Stanley Kubrick is about to get paid!

There's other stuff that happened, too. Believe it. Funny thing about recorded history is that many, many things are terrible and depressing. Pretty much every single March 27th between 1912 and 1958 was awful. That's right. I picked four good ones, and one of the 'good' ones, was a dude dying of the Black Death.

Short Answer: I saved the best for last. March 27th, 1998: The FDA approves Viagra. I was only one year out of high school, and a couple of years away from meeting my wife. But somewhere, wherever she was, that day, she felt a small, shadow of a pain in her bottom.

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