Thursday, March 2, 2017

Question: Today is World Book Day! How's about that?

I had to look this up and make sure it was. Boooo for skipping the line with your topical question.

My wife - who is off today and has significant breasts - just suggested I write about my Favorite Book to Swat Your Wife With. This implies a level of violence in our relationship that only exists when she's ploughing me with Big Red. (That's a dildo. It's not that big. But it is that red. I wanted to call it Clifford: The Big Red Dildo, but my wife always has to shorten everything, like the way my penis shortens from erect to soft when she straps that bitch on.)

What was I talking about?

So I asked her: "What's the best book to swat your wife with?" She instantly answered: "Watership Down. Because it's doubly sad. And you also think it's going to be soft because it's about bunnies. But it's not."

Then I said: "Well, you're on today. Got anything else to say?"
Her: "I was gifted these pickles."

Short Answer: "Do you want to do the short answer too? You've done the rest." Her: "No."

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