Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Question: Three times you've given me terrible advice. Why do I keep coming back?

You're an idiot?


(Just in case this is serious, you know the advice I give is not real, right? That I'm joking?)


Sorry about that interlude. My advice is fucking brilliant. You must be doing it wrong. The key is to follow my instructions - however sarcastic or ridiculous they may seem - to the motherfucking tee.


(This is a humor blog. So I assume people are aware of that when they ask advice.)


Who the fuck is that? Anyway, you're a dolt, listen to me exactly -


(If you have real problems, you might need to see a counselor or - )


I'm a counselor! At least, I'm better than one! And I'm cheaper, and funnier -


(You should probably go. This isn't really about you anymore. Good luck with - )

Oh! Way to make me look like the bad guy! Fuck you, Keith in Parentheses. Fuck! You!


Short Answer: (I think he wore himself out. He seems to be napping. Everyone, run! Find a funnier place with better advice! This madness has to stop! Shit, here he comes. Go!)


Note: Wha...what happened? Did you drug me? He, he fucking drugged me!

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