Friday, March 24, 2017

Question: I got drunk last night and my friends convinced me it was 'cow-tripping' not 'cow-tipping.' Are they a bunch of assholes?

Hilarious assholes.

I don't know what's funnier. Picturing you trying to kick the legs out from under a cow football-kicker style, or picturing you attempting a Mortal Kombat-esque crouching leg sweep.

I hope you didn't actually try this stuff. If I was your friend - which I certainly am not - I would point you toward the YouTube, and specifically some videos where people get knocked the fuck out by cows who don't want to be touched. What they want to be is champion of the world, and they kick head like they mean it.

That's not a video of a cow kicking head. You can find those, too, but I like this video the best.

Short Answer: This whole convincing a drunk person of something dumb is actually pretty funny. What isn't funny is cows fucking people up. If you're too lazy to look up your own shit, here's a link:

But I warn you, there's some full-on violence in here, including a knock-out kick to the dome that sounds like a shotgun blast, as well as a brutal curb stomp. Did you know that cows kill way more people a year than sharks do? Thanks, Jaws.

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