Top Ten How I See This Thing Playing Out
10) Resorting to some sort of long, metal tube, like the one that the plumber uses to unclog your drain.
9) A re-enactment of the Hindenburg disaster with a Sobey's bag full of dog poop.
8) The Carol Burnett show on loop until we don't like funny.
7) The Devil going down on the elephantine penis of a prostitute named Georgia.
6) A bunch of us getting sucked under the wheel on the Price as Right, sending a chowder of blood and bone pieces into the waiting contestants. Then, a guy wiping detritus from his eye sockets and saying, "One dollar" in a calm, collected voice.
5) Teletubbies gettin' fucked up by ninja turtles.
4) A redheaded woman, beautiful and voluptuous, revealing that the curtains don't match the drapes, unless - up close - the hair on her head is just painted tarantula legs.
3) Wallace and Gromit circle jerk.
2) A gourmet meal containing the ground-up remains of all the guests first ever pet.
1) A love story between a jittery, neurotic clown and a freshly painted fire-hydrant, with full-on, public anal.
Short Answer: There's an autobiography title for you: Keith, Full-On Public Anal.