Sunday, February 5, 2017

Question: Who's going to win the Super Bowl?

What does it say about me that I thought, 'I should just post an answer from another year.' That I'm dumb? Perhaps. Fuck you.

I've watched less football this year than ever before. But I do have a reputation for picking well, and I even got the score correct once (though the winner and loser were reversed.) The point is, I can see why you'd come to me. And I shall not disappoint.

The Green Bay Packers will win...what? Oh, shit.

Let's try again. I think it's going to be a high-scoring game this year. And I think this is the year that the legacy of Belichick/Brady's Patriots will be put further to the question, as they go to 4 wins and 3 losses in the big game all time, making you say things like, "How can the best team of all time have lost three Super Bowls?" Then others will say, "They fucking won four!" And then, "So did Montana, and he didn't lose a single one!" "Not with the same team!And besides, the Pats still got to the most!" "True, but the Buffalo Bills lost four Super Bowls, and three is almost four." "Nice counting, you fucking wanker! Why don't you count the number of knuckles on this incoming fist!"

You get the idea.

Atlanta Falcons 34, New England Patriots 31

Short Answer: I really have no proper analysis to give this year. If I'm at all close, it will have been a fluke. Not that I won't act like I'm a genius, but just between you and me, I don't know shit.

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