Friday, February 24, 2017

Question: So i sent in this form for hte contestest and it was like a piece of mail with a stamp symbol on it and I havent' ehard anything back yet. What do i do?

Often, if I see a typo in a question, or if there's one instance of something as heinous as a standalone, lowercase letter, I'll tidy it up and make it more presentable. It's not because I have a dire need to correct things, it's just that I want to present my blog in a consistent way. I also want to appeal to an audience that appreciates certain standards of language and legibility.

For this question, as you can see with your own bleeding eyes, I have not tidied up. It didn't feel right. This is the question as asked, and I believe the mistakes are relevant. It paints a picture of one so drunk or stupid that the question itself changes, making the inquiry far more about the person than the lost 'contestest' form.

I have no idea what you're talking about. There is no information here for me to go on. You sent something through the mail. That's all I got. What do you do, now? Wait, would be the most popular answer. Though in this particular case, I'd say don't wait. Because whatever you've done, it's not going to work out for you. I'd be surprised if you even managed to put the mail in a mailbox. I'm guessing it's in your garbage, covered in blood-soaked tissues from the most recent time you've picked up a knife the wrong way, and wondered A) why you couldn't slice the cheese properly, and B) why there's blood all over your cheese again.

By the way, kudos on the entire middle part of this question being flawless. I'm not sure who wrote the beginning and the end, but you obviously had a moment of clarity for a portion of this exercise.

In fact, many of these mistakes just look like rushed typing. Why didn't you edit it? Have you not read my blog? Didn't you know that this sort of inattention would lead to ridicule, that your question would stick out amidst the grammatically sound?

No. You didn't know. Because there's something wrong with your brain. That's okay. We all have something wrong with our brains. Usually it's hidden better, but you don't have much control over that.

Huh. I ended up being forgiving. Here's another positive. Instead of 'heard' you wrote 'ehard'. That made me think of getting an erection while on the internet, and has inspired me to have a wound-inducing wank after this is through. Cheers!

Short Answer: Time for a nap, my friend. Whatever you sent, it's not worth worrying about. When your electricity gets shut off, or your next issue of 'Lawn and Head Trauma' doesn't arrive, then worry.

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