Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Question: How about a fresh Top Ten list?

Fresh like...funky fresh? Is it finally time? Can my inner Blackstreet finally New Jack Soul all over everyone's face? Diggity?


No? No diggity?


Awwww.


Okay. I'll have to think of something else.


Top Ten Illest Rhymes?


No? No illin'?


All right. I think I get what you're saying. I'm a white guy who's right now listening to Onslow's string quartet number 25 in b-flat major. That doesn't mean I can't be 'down' with certain things, does it?


It might? That's a good enough answer for me.


Top Ten Blue-Eyed Soul Songs


10) What A Fool Believes - The Doobie Brothers. Written by Michael MacDonald and Kenny Loggins? Poopedmypants!
9) Roll With It - Steve Winwood. This is some iconic shit right here. It makes me think of, like, ten different movies.
8) How Deep is Your Love - The Bee Gees. This isn't disco. Shut-up.
7) Holding Back the Years - Simply Red. Simply boner! Though I suppose this is a bit of a sad song. Sadly boner!
6) Miss You - The Rolling Stones. Are the Stones more of a soul band than a rock band? Maybe not. Maybe both can exist in the same place: Mick's wriggly legs.
5) You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - The Righteous Brothers. I had. But now it's back. And it's caked with sticky.
4) Sara Smile - Hall & Oates. Could've picked any number of Hall & Oates songs; this one seems to be accepted as the soul-iest. Honorable Mention to I Can't Go For That (No Can Do).
3) Fame - David Bowie. Or I guess the entire Young Americans album. Whatever floats your Bowie. See what I did there? I'm amazing.
2) Careless Whisper - Wham! This song makes me feel like somebody came in my pants. Or like a saxophone made love to the inside of my bottom.
1) Wicked Game - Chris Isaak. I guess you could argue this isn't a soul song. Go ahead. See what your computer screen says about it. (It is a soul song. So is Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing, so just put that in its place if you can't handle the truth.)


Short Answer: Shit. Honorable Mentions out the wazzoo; too many to get into. Loose-lipped shout outs to The Beatles, Van Morrison, Elton John, Eurythmics, Culture Club, Joe Cocker, Phil Collins and Boz Scaggs, to name just the few that nearly made the list.


Note: "[Blue-eyed Soul] ...assumes I’m coming from the outside. There’s always been that thing in America, where if you’re a white guy and you’re singing or playing in a black idiom, it’s like: ‘Why is he doing that? Is he from the outside, looking in? Is he copying? What’s the point of it?’ C’mon, it’s music! It’s music." - Daryl Hall

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