Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Question: I heard a rumor on the internet that you don't drink coffee. What are you a fucking mormon?

Only in the sense that I bed many different ladies and each of those ladies pretends they're totally fine with it but in reality, they are not.


I don't drink coffee because it hurts my anus. Not that I need the stuff. I don't have much of a problem when it comes to energy or mood. If I was on the coffee, I'd have to wear a football helmet everywhere because I'd be bouncing off the bloody walls.


I guess what I'm saying is I'm a superior being. But isn't that always what I'm saying when you get right down to it?


Short Answer: Let's 'get right down to it' is what I say to the ladies when I wanna play silly buggers.


Note: I actually quite like coffee. It's the caffeine that fucks me up. Even decaf can send my insides in a squirrely direction; the direction that leads to the toilet and my imitation of a muddy hose.

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