Either that, or the promise that I'll make it through the entire calendar year without doing that thing where I pour a clear liquid into a glass I don't think was used for milk, but then halfway through drinking, I become painfully aware that the glass was in fact last used for milk.
Short Answer: Does it make me a horrible piece of shit that the best thing I could receive is money? I don't want it for frivolous spending; just so I can continue writing books and hanging onto the dream. I guess that doesn't make it much better. I suppose I'll just have herpes again like last year. It wasn't so bad. My wife never even caught it.