Your addendum to this question ruined it for everyone.
Unless I could somehow finagle a topless dinner, the charm of Salma Hayek might be lost on me, whilst watching her eat peas with a fork or some such shit. If I don't get to see titties or bang face, then I'm definitely going with Farley.
Don't get me wrong. From what I can tell, Salma Hayek is a delightful, intelligent, funny person. But she's not one of the funniest people ever.
And don't get me wrong, Farley also has tits.
And don't get me wrong, I'd really like to have sex with both of them at the same time.
Short Answer: Don't Get Me Wrong by the Pretenders is a good song. Don't know why that popped into my head.