Monday, November 21, 2016

Question: I want to make love to Catwoman, but she doesn't exist. What do I do?

Have sex with a cat?

No, no, you wouldn't be able to get 'catsent' from the cat, and meow sounds more like no than yes in most situations.

Have sex with a woman?

I can see how that might be difficult for you to arrange without the proper funding.

The answer is a simple one, then. Find a cosplayer, a chick who's real in real life who dresses up like Catwoman. She'll be nerdy enough to put up with your philosophies on all things geek, while still having low enough standers to let you take a peek under her goggles.

Short Answer: You sure you want Catwoman? Oh, wait, I get it. This is leading up to a 'threesome with the Batman' type situation. Proceed with my blessing.

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