Friday, November 25, 2016

Question: How about a bunch of random shit, today?

I just woke up with this thought in my head: It's like putting bug spray in your mouth. Sure it tastes bad, but at least there aren't any bugs in your mouth. (What this is 'like' I haven't yet figured out.)


Today, I said out loud, 'Get up, you sack of paltry crap.'


If you type 'dump in a' into Google, 'box' is the fourth entry.


I've never watched the film Mr. Holland's Opus because the title grosses me out.


If you prefer handjobs to blowjobs, you're the reason for the bad things.


Luke Cage - the Netflix show - is bad.


I think the story of Snow White would be more realistic under one of these two conditions: 1) There were only three dwarves, or 2) Snow White had seven orifices.


I think the above joke is extremely solid.


I've always thought David Hasselhoff was kind of a jackass. And those 'Don't Hassel the Hoff' t-shirts are annoying and shitty.


I wish I could wear skin-tight shorts everywhere. They make me feel pretty.


Short Answer: I think a good way to deal with the Donald Trump presidency is for all of us to pretend that Hillary Clinton won, and then act accordingly, so that when Trump does terrible/stupid things, we all react with an increased level of surprise and rage as though Hillary had done those things. This will be the appropriate amount of surprise and rage to counteract the normalization of that braying, tangerine jackhole.

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