Saturday, November 5, 2016

Question: Have you ever seen moldy pizza?

Fuck no. How is it possible to let pizza go moldy?

Here's a true tale of what happens when I buy pizza.

First, I get too much. Even though it's just for my wife and I, I will always buy two pizzas. Usually mediums, unless in that five minute window of ordering I feel like a fat shit, and then I get smalls. But ninety percent of the time it's mediums.

Then, we sit down to eat said pizza and I eat eight pieces. I don't know where I came up with that number, but that's the limit. Then, I'll wait ten to twenty minutes to see if that makes me full, leaving the rest of the pizza out before me. Whether I feel full or not, I will most likely consume the rest of the pizza over the next few minutes to few hours.

If I don't eat it all, I will put the two to four pieces left into the fridge. (Never one. If there's one left I'll just eat it because who could be bothered?) The next morning, I will either gleefully sprint to the fridge and consume the leftover pizza, or I'll be pleasantly surprised upon opening the fridge and I will gleefully consume the leftover pizza.

I guess the only way I'd ever see moldy pizza is if I went dumpster diving, or discovered a dead body next door and they hadn't finished their pizza before they'd expired. I can't say for sure - in either circumstance - that I wouldn't eat the moldy pizza.

Short Answer: I'd at least eat around the mold.

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