Sunday, November 6, 2016

Question: Do you like Pina Coladas?

No. I think they're gross. They taste like pineapple got a bad infection, squeezed out some gnarly puss, and mixed that up with coconut ball-sweat.

(Man. If coconut's had balls, I bet they'd taste awesome.)

That may have seemed like a contradictory opinion, but, fuck you.

For the record, I don't like getting caught in the rain, either. That's a dumb question. Nobody likes that. And I like the rain. I'll go out into the already established rain like few others. But you don't want to be out in your nice shirt and knickers and then get dumped on. For that matter, who likes getting caught in anything? Tax fraud, bear trap, finger in the pie? It's all bad news. I reiterate: dumb question.

I do like making love at midnight. Because that's the most likely time for ghosts to be watching and I like to have an audience.

Are there more lyrics to this song? I don't think I care.

Wait. There's the having half-a-brain, part. That's a stupid phrase to put into a song. This song is shit. And what's wrong with yoga, you troglodyte?

Short Answer: Who sang this fuckin' shit song?

Note: Rupert Holmes, and the song is actually called Escape. Fuck all that.

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