Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Question: What horror movies are you watching this Halloween?

Which ones aren't I watching?

I kid, I kid. There are lots of horror movies. But can you imagine?

What the fuck were we talking about? Or yeah, no one's talking to me. I'm sitting here alone. Naked.


Some people go crazy for Horror on Halloween and watch movies every night, or have giant stacks to get through. I don't like chores, so I don't do that. I have my annual Halloween Horror Day, and this year I'll be watching The Omen, The Bay, Antichrist, Creep and Torso.

Besides that, my friend - purging his DVD collection - gifted me the entire run of Tales From the Crypt. So I did some research and found the best thirty episodes. My wife and I are halfway through that endeavor as of right now. I used to watch when I was a kid, and that show is a distinct, nostalgic pleasure, full of gore and nudity and famous fuckers in odd situations.

I used to do a Halloween week, where I would have a theme every night, and my wife and I would watch at least a couple of movies and anyone we knew was welcome to come over and join us. Sadly, the people in my life don't take watching Horror at Halloween as seriously as I do, and so the practice waned due to lack of attendance.

This just made me sad. I'm axing all of my friends and getting new ones! I meant axing in the real way, like in an episode of Tales From the Crypt! Get it?

(cackles like the Crypt keeper, realizes he's alone and naked, stops)

Other than the above, I've watched The Babadook with some friends, and The Witch with my wife. I'm planning to check out a few newer ones, and who knows what shenanigans I might get up to otherwise; I have a shelf of Horror DVDs sitting just to my right. My wife and I, with a swarthy friend of ours, watched Ringu and Ju-On a few years back as a doubleheader, and we've talked of doing The Ring and The Grudge the same way. That would be a good Halloween night for those who like sleep but like staring at the shadows with a little shit in their pajamas more.

Short Answer: I actually don't wear pajamas to bed, so the shit would be directly on the bed sheets. Happy Halloween!

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