Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Question: Is the pain in my foot directly related to the fact that the dog sleeps at the end of my bed?


But the pain in your end is directly related to the fact that your dog sleeps at the foot of your bed.

Sorry. Couldn't help myself. You know, because this way there's a pain in your end. And maybe your dog has sex with you in the night.

In all seriousness, I doubt your dog is hurting your foot. It's not even cool to suggest it. Isn't it bad enough that you blame your farts on your dog? And don't forget how often you get to use your dog as an excuse to get out of staying out late, going on a date with someone you thing is a fugmo, or vacationing at the cabin with people who think Cranium is a thing to do with your time.

Dogs are a blessing. You know what? Even if he is hurting your foot somehow, suck it up. You know what else? Even if he's fucking you in the dark, just gently enough to keep you from waking, get over yourself. That dog is everything to and you know it. Doesn't he deserve a little happiness?

Short Answer: You can't have happiness without dog penis.

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