Thursday, August 25, 2016

Question: Many a night have I stayed up wondering what the cosmos has in store for us. Why are we here? Is there a God or gods? Where do we go when we die? Do we have a purpose on this planet? Is there a reason for anything? Will the universe provide when I'm most in need?

That's a lot of questions.


Blog's called Ask Keith Anything, not Ask Keith All The Things. You fucked up.


Let's go through it at a length of response that makes me comfortable.


Why are we here? To eat pizza and fuck faces.
Is there a God or gods? We're good at making shit up, so probably not. If there is a god, he's the god of making shit up.
Where do we go when we die? Nowhere. You're eclipsed, ended, completed, and you're not there anymore to understand, to have the slightest notion, or the last-moment realization that this is the end. You're just gone. Or clouds ands wings and haloes and everyone you ever loved, including, perhaps your pets, depending on how crazy you are.
Do we have a purpose on this planet? On this planet in particular? Probably not. But spreading our dastardly seed throughout the galaxy seems as close to a purpose as anything.
Is there a reason for anything? Yep. Some things. Like the reason you can't get laid is dandruff.
Will the universe provide when I'm most in need? Not if you don't capitalize the 'u' in universe.


Short Answer: (AKATT) Ask Keith All The Things: Question: What is the answer to all the things? Sadly, it's a mathematic equation that's so long and complex that a normal person can't understand it. Only a centaur can. Bye!

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