Monday, July 4, 2016

Question: What's the best you've ever done at bowling?

The best I've ever done at bowling is not go bowling.

Calm down, bowlers, not everyone has to like everything. For example, I like wearing my own shoes, not some smelly, sweaty weirdo shoes. I also don't like holding heavy balls in my hand, and hurting my wrist a lot.

Also, I'm going to take this opportunity to call out all bowling alleys everywhere on their low quality attempt at pizza. I know all pizza is supposed to be good, but you guys are really pushing it.

Here's a story about bowling. I almost bowled a perfect game when I was seventeen. It was only the second time I'd ever bowled ten pin, and all I did was line up the ball directly down the center and throw it kind of slow. I got seven strikes and a spare, and one open frame where I left one pin, whatever that score is. Oh, and then the bonus strikes at the end where you get to throw three times in one frame.

For the record, I like Tekken Bowling. And I had some fun with the Wii bowling, too. But those were in my house, where I don't have to wear any shoes. I tried not wearing shoes at the bowling alley and I slipped and bruised my twat.

Short Answer: Bowling's fine. I've bowled perfect games on the TV, and that shit counts.

Note: I did my best pratfall ever at a bowling alley. I stepped on someone's shoe and pretended to slip, only bowling alley's are fuckers and I slipped further than I meant to and fell pretty hard. When I got up, I reached for a woman's coat and put it on like it was time to leave, which killed. A few seconds later I realized I'd ripped the crotch out of my jeans. Fuck you, bowling! Who rewards a clown like that?

Note #2: I like the movie Kingpin.

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