Sunday, May 1, 2016

Question: Would you rather be homeless for a year or in jail for a year?

I ran out of questions, so I just went to a random question generator.

The first one asked was 'Do you like to cook or get take out?' I thought, "This is fucking dumb" so I clicked the do it again button. That's where the homeless thing came from. Think I'll do a few.

Do you like to cook or get take out? This question is fucking stupid. I love to cook, but I also love to do nothing. So there you have it.

Would you rather be homeless for a year or in jail for a year? C'mon, seriously? In jail you get a bed, shelter, meals and all the sex you can handle. I'd much rather get drilled in the rump by a sexy biker than a rangy racoon.

Are you smarter than your parents? If you answer this question with anything other than a resounding 'Fuck Yeah!' then you've got serious self-esteem problems.

Are you a spender or a saver? This question is a cunt because it assumes money is part of your equation. Here's an equation: Me=Mc Go Fuck Yourself. That's also my rap name. Yeah, the entire thing.

What is your dream job? If I go by my most vivid dreams, it's fucking tonnes of broads and getting paid in dirty, real-life sheets. (Ugh. I just misspelled fucking in that sentence and my computer lost its mind because it's not allowed to know the word fucking, and then it couldn't figure out that all I'd done with the word broads was get the vowels backward.)

What is your favorite candy? Ass. I'm out.

Short Answer: What would you want your last words to be? This really came up when I clicked one last time. How appropriate. Last words? How about, "But I didn't order the poison-tipped arrow. And another thing, the service here is..."

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