Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Question: Why don't you put a wiener in me?

I don't know why I thought of this immediately, but it feels a little bit like you're co-opting my use - and spelling - of the word wiener. Not all that many people use the word wiener, and fewer spell it this way. That's based on research I did just now in my head, for those who disagree.

Of all the times I've written the word wiener on this blog, I've probably been referring to an actual wiener - like the one you'd put in a hot dog bun - 0 to 1 percent of the time. So I'll just go ahead and assume this question is asking me to perform an act of penetration with my penis.

Unless of course you are using the word wiener in a derogatory sense, basically calling me a wiener and therefore the most likely candidate to be able to fill your womb with a baby wiener. If that's the case, I'd be willing to give it a try. I don't think I've ever had sex with the intention of impregnating someone, so it might be a laugh-riot. Am I supposed to touch your hair more? Less spitting?

The reason that I probably won't get to put a wiener in you, no matter what the exact meaning, is that my wife likes it when I keep my wiener to myself. She's not even much of a fan of having it near her, so good luck.

Short Answer: Proximity, or lack thereof.

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