Saturday, May 28, 2016

Question: Holiday that shouldn't be a holiday?

Fucking all of them?

Don't get me wrong (like up the tooter). I don't mean people shouldn't have holidays. I think people should have all the holidays. Four, five, eight weeks, all the weeks, all the time.

But as for having a reason to take a holiday, they're all total bullshit. Jesus wasn't born on Christmas. St. Valentine didn't give a fuck if he got laid or not. No one kisses Irishmen ever. You get what I'm saying.

Think of it this way, just taking the above examples. If every religion got a born-on date holiday and every Saint got a day and every Nationality got a day, there'd be a holiday every fucking day. So it's all as arbitrary as who got to the port-o-potty first. That doesn't make sense, you might say. Well, peeing and pooping right next to pee and poop doesn't make much sense either.

Short Answer: People should work less, period. But holidays are more fun when they're specific. Christmas and Easter and shit are great because we know what we do: get presents and eat fucking chocolate. That's why you think all the fake, made-up hashtaggy holidays like InternationalLoveYourNeighborDay are stupid. But you're not taking into account the awesome ones like SendaNudeDay and NakedGardeningDay and SteakandaBlowjobDay. All that shit should be mandatory.

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