Sunday, April 24, 2016

Question: Which dwarf are you?

Gonna assume you mean the Seven Dwarfs. If there's another group of famous dwarfs, I'm unaware. Or if this is just a question about all living people with dwarfism, I guess I'm like the one who's tallest?


Gary?

I'll go ahead and claim that I don't think the Seven Dwarfs have all that much personality. I mean, when your name has to indicate your dominant trait, you can't be all that interesting a person. Like that girl I went to high school with, Lunchtime Fingerblaster.


Shit, I can't remember all the dwarfs. One sec.


(Spends some time thinking about high school lunch hour.)


I'm not Dopey. I don't look like a melted cheese sandwich and I rarely do drugs. I don't have allergies so I'm not Sneezy. I'm not grumpy very often and I'm rarely if ever bashful. I sleep a reasonable amount so I'm not Sleepy. I guess that leaves Happy or Doc.


I am happy. Not joyfully bouncing off the walls, not screeching with delight, not forcing my sunshine down other's throats. That is to say, not outwardly happy enough to have it become my one and only moniker.


But what the fuck is a Doc? Is he just the smart one? Or the pretentious one? Or the one with glasses?


Okay I've done some further research. Apparently Doc mixes up his words. That's like, his personality trait. So...


Happy it is!


Short Answer: Every now and again, when I write this blog, I feel like I'm wasting my life.

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