Yea. I get it. April Fools Day. Bah-hah.
Go fuck yourself.
Short Answer: This was probably my wife. Go fuck yourself.
Note: If she actually is pregnant, and she decided to tell me this way, on this day, I'm going to do that prank where you put cling wrap in a doorway. Then I'll get her angry, have her chase me, and when she gets a face full of that shit she'll go down on her ass so hard that it takes care of things.
Dammit. Now because I wrote that I have to be careful all day that she doesn't do that cling wrap shit to me. And also I'll have to apologise for making an abortion joke on the happiest day of her (our?) life.
April Fools Day fucking sucks.