Sunday, April 17, 2016

Question: I want you to randomly flip through a dictionary and give us a thumbs up or thumbs down for ten different words. (?)

That's very specific. I feel like maybe in your free time you step on the testicles of sad, old businessmen.

AWACS abbrev. airborne warning and control system. I guess this is a thumbs up. Who doesn't like being warned about death from above? Plus, it has 'wacs' in it, which makes me think of both whacking off and waxing something, either poetic or sex style.

inoculum noun. a substance used for inoculation. Big thumbs up to inoculation. Diseases do absolutely horrible shit to the human body. I cry if I get a headache.

Panchen Lama noun. a Tibetan lama ranking next after the Dalai Lama. Thumbs up for this guy, who I assume has to be a total fucking asshole to keep the balance in the universe. Just sneering and stepping on robes all day. He probably also has a full head of hair, like, he plays in a metal band hair, and totally calls everyone baldy.

roll cage noun. a framework of reinforcements protecting a car's passenger cabin. Thumbs up for rolling your car and climbing out, hands held high in celebration of death's defeat.

validate noun. check or prove the validity. Thumbs up for being able to find out if something is made of snotty tissue rather than space-aged metals, or knowing that the guy who came to plumb your sink isn't really there to plumb the depths of your unwilling anus.

salmon noun. a fish that originates in the sea and finds fresh water to spawn. Thumbs up for salmon. They taste great and they look like Rainbow Brite took a gnarly shit on a cedar plank. Also, that white stuff that comes out when you cook it - fat, I guess - looks like pearly balls of cum.

namely adv. that is to say. Big thumbs up for this shit, namely, an answer as interesting and thorough as this one. Pretty sure I used this right. Pretty sure a lot of people don't. That separates the wizards from the dullards, which is good.

initiative noun. the ability to start something or a fresh strategy intended to resolve or improve. Thumbs up to having initiative and getting off your sorry ass to accomplish something and feel decent about yourself. Who doesn't want to improve shit?

ex ante adj & adv. based on forecasts rather than actual incidents. Thumbs up to whatever the fuck this is. Who doesn't like a little fore-knowledge of events to come? Makes it easier to prepare your balls for the possible licking. (This is apt because if you found out from precedent that you had absolutely no chance of getting your balls licked, you'd be a sadder person.)

chamber organ noun. a movable pipe organ for playing a small venue. Thumbs the fuck up! Who doesn't want an organ on the move, an organ to go, an organ that has versatility in terms of placement? Who's that retarded? Chapel? Organ! High School gym? Organ! Inside your vagina? Fucking organ!

Short Answer: Used the concise Oxford for most definitions, though I did edit for directness and length. Funny to have the balls to edit the dictionary for no reason other than that you think you can do better.

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