Thursday, March 31, 2016

Question: Why is Donald Trump talking about abortion?

He's an old white guy. Why wouldn't he be?

I said I wasn't going to talk about Trump anymore, so here's the alternative. I'm going to go a to news page on the interweb and replace Trump's name with the first celebrity name I see, then go from there.

One sec.

(Is gone far longer than expected.)

Apparently David Hasselhoff admitted he's never watched Pamela Anderson's sex tape. That reminded me to masturbate furiously on the porch.

Anyway, here goes.

Why is David Hasselhoff talking about abortion?

'Cause he's drunk again.

Short Answer: Maybe he's angry that they're making the Baywatch movie without him. With Alexandra Daddario. She's so hot, she'd make any man think about abortions.

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