Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Question: What are the best things to do in Vancouver?

10) Sit on my face.
9) Let me sit on your face.
8) Rub my nuts with the palms of your hands while whispering the word 'gooey' in a dry, reedy voice.
7) The Orpheum.
6) Let me watch you poop as I hand wash my Canucks jersey while standing nearby in the bathtub.
5) Fuck my wife. (She's better and cheaper than almost all the whores.)
4) Get high on the best marijuana in the world...and let me peg you!
3) Ass to ass at Wreck Beach. They allow it, I swear.
2) Avoid downtown, but not in a sex way.
1) Take in the pristine beauty of Canada's West Coast! Ready? And then let me spread peanut butter and honey between your butt cheeks, call it my special sandwich, and release the hungry ferrets!


Short Answer: Some clarifications: Wreck Beach is a nude beach. The Orpheum is where you listen to classical music. My wife is cheaper than all the whores.

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