Friday, January 29, 2016

Question: What's your idea of hard work?

Dealing with people.

I get that ten hours in the quarry is pretty rough on the old lats, but to me, physical work has always been less strenuous than emotional work. In fact, the few times I've done physical work to a degree that it could be considered hard, I thought myself into oblivion the entire time and eclipsed the physical stress with the mental.

Hard work is being near another person and trying not to strangle them. It's trying to understand them and be understood. It's trying to judge at the appropriate time without being overly judgemental. It's about protecting yourself and your emotions without torpedoing a chance at genuine, emotional interaction. It's about trying to tell the truth in the face of lies. It's about agendas and motivations and possible malice.

Jesus. I'm getting tired from just thinking of these.

I've had days where my own work is very difficult. A day when you immerse yourself creatively in a project for a long time can be exhausting. Only artists seem to get this so I won't harp on it, but suffice it to say we're not all bitchy prima donnas. It's a real thing that thinking and creating is difficult work.

Short Answer: My struggle is that I know by being open, happy and gregarious I can create genuine moments with people, but that doesn't necessarily motivate me because I so deeply fear the negative. I don't appreciate having to be a certain way just to cut down the percentage chance that someone will be a d-bag near me, and I'll be reminded that I live in a world full of stupid, pathetic assholes.

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