Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Question: How do I get involved in the penguin community?

Based on this blog's content and the folks who participate, I'm going to rightfully assume that a penguin is some sort of sex group, like bears or wombats.

Is this an interracial thing? Like a community of black chicks who dig on white dudes or something?

Sorry, pal, I don't see race. I don't even understand when people say that Captain Kirk fucked green chicks. I'm like, what green chicks? I only saw strong, independent aliens, bro.

I suppose it's also possible that it's not a race thing. That being a penguin just means you waddle up to the bed, flop around without using your arms while doing it, then finish all over your own feet.

What is it with ejaculate lately? Is it just me? For like a month now, these questions keep leading to someone finishing on something. Is it possible that I've become...semen obsessed? (When I wrote that I heard dramatic music. It occurs to me that you did not. My bad.)

I just thought of something way worse. What if the penguin community is people who mix dookies into their sex play? Gross!

In looking back over this answer, I realize that the question could've been about penguins. The actual flightless bird, not the interracial sex or the turds and cum kind. I wonder if they'll use this post against me in court when someone eventually tries to get me committed.

Short Answer: In general I think it's lame when people say they're 'crazy'. It's a way to feel special, separate from the herd of normals. But for all those out there who think they're whacky and different, I pose to you a simple question. Did you see the word penguin and think of coming on a piece of shit?

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