Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Question: I've got this really nasty scab on my knee and I'm not sure what to do. Any tips?

Drag your knee across the carpet as hard as you can.

Do you have a lighter? You can always curl up the edges on that bad boy, then slide a razor blade under there.

You could soak it underwater until it gets pale grey and then chew it off. Add hot sauce to mask the flavor and melted cheese to mask the texture.

Wait, I got it. Find another person with a similar scab and rub those two scabs together until they're mostly gone and you've got blood running down your leg. Then make out with that person hard.

You could do some blowjobs on some fat, dirty dudes. You won't notice that you're working the scab off because of the putrid wang between your teeth.

The peanut butter/dog thing will probably work.

Big wad of chewing gum + vacuum cleaner.

Hydrogen peroxide and yelling.

Short Answer: I think scabs are gross. That may have affected my answer.

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