Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Question: Housewife nipple slip?

Surprisingly few results when search engined. I thought maybe this was in reference to a particularly large one. (By large one I mean incident of nipple slippage, not a particularly large nipple. Though that would be a funny headline. 'Housewife has Biggest Nipple on Record'.)

Maybe it reeks of the permeation of these sorts of shows that I instantly thought of the Housewives programs when I saw the word housewife. But let's be clear; I don't watch that shit. That, to me, is some of the worst garbage anyone has ever called entertainment. I know I should give things a chance before judging them, but not this time. Not with this shit. I've seen clips. Clips is enough. Privileged bitches starting fights with each other, then proceeding with those fights with the logic and rationality level of a champagne flute is not my idea of a good time. If I want to watch something to make me feel better about myself, I'll watch my own sex tape.

In my sex tape, I'm wearing a muscle shirt. Explanation over.

If this wasn't about the Real Housewives show, then let me address a regular housewife nipple slip.

I don't think nipple slips are all that sexy. What is sexy is my wife ironing or doing dishes naked. If she was doing these things clothed, and a nipple popped out, it might be cute or funny, but it won't necessarily lead to hanky or panky. But if she's doing it naked, I can often finagle that into a throat hug.

As for a nipple slip from some wife other than my wife, that would be awesome, 'cause I wasn't supposed to see it. Nipple when you're not supposed to nipple is pretty good nipple. Then again, even better if I was supposed to see it, 'cause that means that other person's wife wants me to see that shit for a reason, and that reason is probably filthy. It means my friendship with the husband is over, I guess, but that's okay. He was never nipples to begin with.

Short Answer: I like to see the whole boob. Maybe I'm spoiled.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, Twitter and its various and sundry pitch contests, for bringing me here.