Thursday, August 22, 2013

Question: You couldn't pile ten apples up on top if your life depended on it.

SEUUUUSSSS! I know it's you, Seuss! I'm not fooled by this shit at all. Go back to your grave, you arrogant son of a bitch. Leave me alone.

And I could, by the way. I could totally just wait here, hold on. I'm gonna do it.

(I wrote this next part about three hours later.)

Fuck you Seuss. Stacking apples is stupid and your face is ugly. No, I'm not covered in apple bits, I was working on a prosthetic...for a movie about....apples.

Shut up!

Short Answer: You're not gonna win me back Seuss. I liked you when I was a kid, and I appreciated your child level wisdom, but this taunting is beneath you. I grew up, okay? What do you want? You want me to read Yertle the Turtle again? I read it ten times, Seuss. This is tearing me apart!

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