Because you wish bad things upon others. This is god's way of making you suffer.
The facial expression that corresponds to feeling herniated should be one of extreme discomfort, combined with an awareness of your wrong-doing, with a touch of fist-shaking spite at the creator who's bestowed this punishment upon you. Let's call the expression Spiteful Diarrhea Regret.
Anything else, commie?
Short Answer: Only people who don't believe in democracy and can't get behind the idea that god chooses sides get hernias.
Note: I slept in a lot today for no reason, and I don't even know if I'm actually at the computer or not. So bear with me; if this is even happening. Is that right? Bear with me? Like a bear, bear? Weird.