Thursday, August 1, 2013

Question: Why aren't Eskimo glasses more mainstream?

I don't like the word Eskimo. Rare for me to bother mentioning things like that; I am a guy who will use any shade of racism, sexism or ignorance to make a person laugh. It's a shield I use to justify the collateral damage, so it would be entirely hypocritical of me to be a real dick about a particular word. It's just that one went out of style when I was a kid, and it sounds so strange to me, now. And we're all hypocrites. That's part of humanity's charm.

Now despite my minor protestations, I will go on using that word for the rest of the post.

Eskimo glasses were pretty mainstream in the eighties, and if you look at the lighting in all those commercials and movies, you can see why. Shit was bright! Eyes were wide, clothes were neon, teeth were yellow; you needed those shades, man.

The reason they haven't stuck as a fashion item is probably because they make you look like a venetian blind. Sub-consciously, the human race can't tolerate wearing something over their eyes called blinds.

Short Answer: It's funny. The reason the word Eskimo fell out of use in Canada was because there was a chance that it meant 'eater of raw meat', which sounds a little offensive to some. Turns out, though, despite the word being treated as a pejorative, most linguistic scholars don't think that's where the word came from. It probably has something to do with building snowshoes. So fuck me and my childhood. I don't know shit.

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