Thursday, August 29, 2013

Question: Do you have a romantic side? Will you tell us some of your favourite screen couples / love scenes?

I think it's clear based on my many posts about hot boobs that I have a large, round romantic side.

Favorite screen couples and favorite love scenes are two very separate categories for me.

A screen couples list for me would be boring. I'm a sap for all the regular stuff. When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook etc.

Instead, I will focus on:

Top 40 Favorite Love Scenes

(as with all these movie lists, there are Spoilers)

40) Society - Weird, B level horror fair where the odd people in town just want to make you have an orgy with them. By the way, you really get into each other at the orgy. Like, really.
39) Crash - The Cronenberg one. You know, with the people who get turned on by collisions. On the list for the fuck the scar scene in particular.
38) Teeth - A young woman has a weird vagina. Late movie come-uppins ensue.
37) Quills - Not a great movie, but this tale of the Marquis de Sade, starring Winslet and Rush is ripe with dirty, dirty stuff. And I did mean ripe, not rife.
36) Rosemary's Baby - Satanic orgy scene. Not for the faint of ovaries.
35) Sea of Love - This scene is gross and hot. It really felt like Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin wanted to bang each other with their greasy bits. The shot of her pinned to the wall is pretty iconic in my spank book.
34) Bug - This is a weird choice, as the whole movie in a way is a love scene, as two people find each other through the crazy. I find the on-the-bed, naked finish fills all the holes of a love scene, without filling any actual holes.
33) Phantasm - The opening graveyard sex scene is movie gold, as we get a Tall Man reveal through the process.
32) Out of Sight - Clooney and Lopez, as directed by Soderbergh, doing a riff on Don't Look Now. The scene evolves, cut with the earlier scenes of them flirting. Nice and sweet.
31) History of Violence - I don't find the love scene on the stairs sexy at all. It's a bit rough to watch, but boy is it important in the texture of the film. Maybe one of the more plot relevant love scenes of this entire list.
30) Jamon, Jamon - Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem , pre-stardom. Saw this movie on showcase when I was young, and have never forgotten that her breasts taste like ham.
29) Basket Case - Large breasted woman fucked by tiny rubber monster.
28) Gozu - Oh, fuck. This is so messed up. Big spoilers if I explain. Let's just say, Takashi Miike is crazy, and the best sex is when someone is grabbing your stuff from the inside.
27) Species - Take your pick, but I guess the iconic scene from Species is when she's giving it to Molina and gets pregnant on the spot.
26) Dead Ringers - More sick shit from Cronenberg. How does a mad OBGYN take out his sexual frustration?
25) May - Another non-traditional love scene, but like Bug, the end of this film feels like love scene to me, as May finally constructs her perfect mate.
24) Angel Heart - Remember this weird fucker? De Niro is the devil, and Rourke gets into one of the Cosby kids? Messed up scene where it gets real, real bloody.
23) Y Tu Mama Tambien - This whole movie is a lead up to a dirty threesome. Dirty threesome ensues.
22) Brotherhood of the Wolf - Monica Bellucci at her best, writhing around, transformed into some sort of dream thing. I don't get it. Love it.
21) Ask the Dust - Just because there isn't enough Salma Hayek nudity, and because this love scene is really tender. Colin Farrel gives her the missionary stylings.
20) American Psycho - Film yourself whore threeway, followed by awesome chainsaw beats.
19) Antichrist - Lars Von Trier, you magnificent bastard. Worst/best love scene ever. Depends on how you like your penis removed.
18) The Howling - Doin' some fucking, turning into werewolves.
17) Black Swan - To my surprise, this blatantly sexy girl on girl scene isn't here because it's hot. It's here because it's powerful as hell.
16) Lifeforce - Every time the naked alien encounters someone, it's kind of a love scene. Before she kills them.
15) Watchmen - Super heroes gettin' it on, some costume still clinging to sweaty bits.
14) Last Tango in Paris - I don't really like any of the loves scenes, but the butter up the ass thing is so iconic I think about this movie right away when people talk romance.
13) The Vampire Lovers - I've extolled the virtues of this little gem on my blog before. Busty 70s broads in lesbian tandems. Oh, and they're vampires too, I guess. Or whatever.
12) The Hunger - Another famous love scene of lesbio-vampirism, this one with Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon.
11) Coming Home - A very iconic, very highly regarded love scene, both because of Voight's disability and Fonda's boobs. Really hot business, and also touching.
10) Mulholland Drive - Oops. More lesbians. This time, David Lynch style.
9) Monster's Ball - "Make me feel good!" a getting fucked Halle Berry moans.
8) Re-Animator - Severed head fellatio. Next!
7) Don't Look Now - Love this movie. The sex scene is interspersed with shots of the participants getting dressed afterward. It's beautiful and sexy and different.
6) Cabin Fever - This is some sort of primitive nightmare. To reach down, to touch the warm insides of a girl, to realize that the warm insides might not be what you thought. And I'm not talkin' butt, either.
5) Evil Dead - It didn't feel right to involve any rape scenes, because even when they're plot relevant, they're no one's favorites. But tree rape is different and totally acceptable.
4) The Lost Boys - Full bias on one of my favorite genre movies. This love scene has no nudity at all, and yet I love it. The song, the draperies, the consequences!
3) Friday the 13th (remake) - Holy shit. Julianna Guill. This is straight up the hottest shit I can imagine. Just a girl, with great boobs, riding away. That's love.
2) Ski School - And the award for most masturbated to love scene goes to, Ava Fabian's big jugs in Ski School! I'll never get that terrible song out of my head, though.
1) Desperado - This is a landslide for me. The scene is naked-y, funny, charming, sexy and Spanish. Hayek for the win, yet again.

Short Answer: Honorable Mention to Team America: World Police. You know the scene.

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