People told me I should blog. As a verb? I asked. They ignored my joke. Assholes. So I said, fine everyone, what should I blorg about? They corrected me, and explained that because blog was an invented, made-up, bullshit word, you could use blog in any context as any part of speech. It did not need to be conjugated. I was also told that adding an R into a word is not conjugation. Barllsacs, I said to that. But here we are. Bloggering. I asked myself (that part's the rub) What will I blog about? I'm like all of you, I have various interests and opinions, some strong, some stronger. I'm a full, textured individual, a veritable shag carpet of our society. So what then? I could rant long and hard about the things I know the most about, but why bother? When you know a lot about something, it's harder to exchange ideas; I end up preaching by mistake. So what about things I know nothing about. Well, who wants to read a guy go on about things he doesn't get? That bird's beak is long. Do other birds have long-ass beaks like that? Shit, I don't know. Yea, worst bloggerage ever. Then, it came to me. Instead of me having to make a decision for and by myself, which is hard to do on your couch and on your ass, I thought, why not get other people to make that decision for me? Anyone who knows me knows I can riff. Maybe I should leave it up to you, people of the known world, to inspire my horse shit. Yea, horse shit. I'm bringing it back. So step up, friends and neighbors. Come to my door and "let me know you're on the registered sex offender list". And while you're here, ask me a question. I'll answer. It will be like getting advice, but less pretentious and shittier. And hopefully - cross your fingers - way more entertaining.
So, post your comments and include questions. They can be advice type questions, or questions about pop culture. Hell, they can be anything. If you already know me, ask me about something you know I'll dig my teeth into. If you don't know me, even better, ask me about your dog and whether I like him. You'd be surprised how thorough an answer I can give. You can even ask me about the word thorough. Don't be shy. Ask Keith Anything!